My Philosophy

This life is the way it is.

I’ve tried to fit into this form of what I believe I’m supposed to be. When I feel I don’t fit in, I am upset by not meeting expectations. Other times, I am just too much – even more than I’m supposed to be. Moments of awareness creep in and say that life doesn’t have to be this way.

For the most part, I think I’ve kept hidden when I don’t hit the mark. I talk about feelings, but it’s wading through the same slug with no different ending. Fear keeps me here. I look good from the outside and put on a smile.

As I understand more about the world, my mom, sister, and aunts, I know the painful experience of being a woman. It’s hard to be under the thumb of societal norms, broken family dynamics, abusive relationships, and should-dos.

It is draining to leave half a breath of effort to try to change my reality. I know how to operate here; other women in other places of the world have it so much harder – at least I have water.

Seeking normality is less challenging.

It’s easier to go with what’s expected rather than challenge it, put up any resistance, or stand out in a way that’s not approved of by society. It’s easier to put effort into being quiet and putting others before myself. It’s easier living like I matter less because this is where I know how to be.

If I tried anything different, where would I land? I’d be even more alone than I am now. I know how to be secondary. I know how to look good, and I’ve figured out not to be too loud, speak too much, or be too bold. You bet I know when to be quiet and how to make loneliness and being in the shadow of men look like it’s where I want to be.

That’s why I’ve stayed in abusive relationships, why I didn’t say anything when sexually abused as a young kid, or when I was raped as a teen and convinced myself it was my fault and told no one. I don’t know how to be primary. I don’t know how to be treated better.

It’s not that bad. That’s true because I see so many women operating this way. The sun comes up, and we begin again.

You’re right. It’s like the world is against you.

Somehow, you’ve accomplished a lot but within the expected parameters. It’s not that you’re miserable, but you know life could be better. You want more. When you think about it, you’ve put as much effort into being small and shutting down parts of yourself as you could put into being vibrant, bold, and running toward your dreams.

Shifting where you put your energy is terrifying because you know it’s what you must do. You feel like you don’t know the first step of breaking the cycle of generational family dynamics, what a healthy romantic relationship is, or how to be treated as an equal in the workplace.

Your body is not your most valuable contribution to the world. Capitalistic society has benefitted greatly by capitalizing on the female form. Don’t enforce it. Times must change, and you are part of it. Our broken world needs your softness, kind heart, and courage.

Let’s step forward together and change the way it is.

In our work together, we’ll focus on shifting the energy you use from being small to being big and you! Being big doesn’t mean being loud and on billboards – it can, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Being big can mean having unshakeable confidence in who you discover yourself to be and being that person 100% while the world around you is saying otherwise.

The good news is that other women are in this exact spot of hearing their hearts whisper to do life differently. Other women feel alone because of spending their time trying not to be too much. Other women don’t know how to be treated better. Other women have walls up, so others see them only as expected.

Kick out self-doubt. Take up space. You are worthy.

It’s my purpose to band together with other women to remove the barriers in our way of achieving our dreams. I want all women to infuse within themselves that they are never to apologize for taking up space or time, earning what they deserve, or breathing life into themselves.

We are worthy of respect and worthy of our dreams, and more. You included!

Join my tribe, girlfriend.