Individual Coaching for Women

I feel stuck, blocked, and scared.

I don’t say it to myself this way, but when I pause and look at my deep soul feelings, the ones that I cover up for most of the day, it all comes back to being embarrassed by who I am – and that I never feel I’m enough of anything – and that makes me feel even more shameful!

I have this great life of opportunity, choices, and a huge list of accomplishments, but I can’t see any of it. It’s like I forget what I’ve done and can only see that right now I’m not good enough in any area – that’s every day. It doesn’t matter what I did yesterday for today and what I do today to impact tomorrow.  

My stomach feels like a pile of rocks while my heart is flying out of my chest. My mind is always in a hurry, and in my head, I hear “close but not quite” about everything, and my throat feels tight. I am worried I won’t be enough.

I won’t be enough at work; I won’t be enough for my family or friends, and I’m certainly not enough to date. But if they’re telling the truth, other people don’t see it this way. What do I have to do to see myself the way others say they do?

Let’s not forget what I feel like at work as a woman.

At work, I research, research, and research before answering. I must know other people’s opinions before making my own. Because what if I decided and other people didn’t like it?

What if I hurt someone’s feelings even though I did my very best to consider how a choice might impact them? What if I make a wrong choice? And then, what if people don’t like me? Ugh. Anxiety!

I often feel that the men I work with are talking to me simply because of how I look. I don’t know if it’s true; I don’t say anything about it, but it seems like the only reason I’m in a meeting is to be the token woman, or maybe it’s not even that. Perhaps it’s that I’m there for men to look at me.

This makes me mad, and it feels like a way in for my career. If my mind isn’t enough, maybe my body can help. I’ll keep the outside looking good.

Am I worthy of love?

I have this little glimpse of awareness that this is not the best way to think – to question my worthiness all the time. But that’s where I am, and I don’t know how to get out. And this questioning is overwhelmingly genuine when I think about ever having a relationship again.

I was in what I thought was the treasure chest of love. So connected and certain we were for forever until we weren’t. I couldn’t make that work; I don’t know that I will be able to make any relationship work. I don’t have the skills.

And before I EVER even think about dating, I must lose weight. My thighs are like a pair of roasted holiday hams, and they just get bigger. I’m so embarrassed.

Every time I cope with my emotions by eating, I see my thighs growing in my mind. I know I should cope another way. Life is so much, and food is an easy, yes, I know, very short-term joy… with long-term weight gain?! What am I supposed to do!? No one wants to touch me the way that I am right now. And if they did, they’d be disappointed. Definitely have to fix this before dating.

If I can just fit into those jean shorts again, then maybe, if I look pretty, I have a better chance of being wanted.

Keeping appearances is a must.

Yes, that is what I can do – keep up the outside because if anyone knew what my real life was like, they’d run.

I’ve been in all these circumstances in my life that I’ve told myself are not who I am. I didn’t belong in these hard places. I am not someone who has an inconsistent place to live or goes through the self-checkout at the grocery store because I’m afraid my card will be declined for insufficient funds. That’s not me. Who would want this?

I feel it again – the slight awareness that there are other ways to think about myself. I do know environmental factors enforce this. How and who I grew up with, other past relationships, society in general I get it, but I’m still alive. I have a home and clean water – it’s okay, and I’ve managed this far.

I can keep going like this. If I end up being single forever. Okay. I guess.

Every moment is an opportunity to begin again.

You’ve heard that saying. Yeah, okay, but what about the ending? You start again, but the ending is the same – never feeling enough.

Yes, every moment you can start over. What’s important to change is your approach to the next step and considering the idea that your life is a sequence of adventures that blend and evolve. You know better than anyone that you never complete the to-do list.

What if you took this perspective and kindly applied it to how you view yourself? Try it on now and say, “I am evolving.” And that’s just it. You and everyone around you is evolving.

Your life experience has led you to where you are now and how you feel. Not one piece of your story is wrong. How you’ll continue is up to you. You could keep on this way. It’s fine. It’s familiar, and you know how to operate here.

Or you could stop waiting to live for yourself.

You know what you want to choose; I know what you want.

You need to discover and commit to the belief that you’re worthy and remember the reminders along the way of how badass you really are.

Hey, friend, I got you. We’ll do just that in individual coaching – work toward building your unshakeable confidence and belief that you are worthy of your dreams.

No more waiting – Contact me today.